Thursday, 16 February 2017

W.A.L.T:Recount a moment in time.


A Moment in time
I’m so scared,were at rotorua park and were  going parasailing with my friends family.They first made us wear life jackets then a harness ,which didn’t even fit me ,like so unfair but whatever.Then Will(The person that was taking us)said”That the other part of the sea smelt like dad’s farts and that  we were ready to go in the air.They first clipped us on and then we were ready,they were telling me to hold the straps next to me but I couldn’t hear them because we were too far away.My dad then told me to hold on to the  straps,it was so much fun ,we were gliding through the air but unfortunately time had run out we had to get back into th boat,Will said before we went to the boat “If we don’t have fun then we could call him Tony”.......... So looks like his name is stiil Will.
                                                                                                                                                                                                 My dad almost gave me a heart attack,when we went back to the dock he said”Let’s take some photos in these clothes”,I thought he had gone cray cray but no ,he wanted to take photos in these ridiculous clothes like who does that .I said”no way”but guess what he said”You have to” I said”Fine”.So I took a few photos and then went off to play with my friend.We then played with Namya(My friend’s sister)BTW my friends name is Rudra but I call him Pudra.It’s now time to go on the jet boat so Bye ,You might want to know what happened next but that’s a story for another day….Toodles……….The End
Teacher Comment - You included some great humour to entertain your reader. I particular liked the part about Dad’s farts! I think a goal for next time could be to end in a way that suits the genre of recount writing.
  • What was the learning intention of this lesson?

  • Did I learn anything new?Yes I learnt that quality not quantity matters.
  • What am I most pleased with? Share an example.”The other part of the sea smells like dad’s farts”.

  • What new learning can I celebrate?
  • What do I need more help with?

  • What did I find tricky?

  • What would I do differently?I would constantly use the right punctuation and spelling.

  • What is needed to help me make improvements?

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